What's Your Story, Morning Glory?

Here’s the shitty truth: focusing on the “bad part of what happened promotes hopelessness, and manifests sorrow. Because of a fun pair of brain goblins called Target Acquisition and Frequency Illusion. These two jerks are responsible for that vicious cycles of The Self-fulfilling Prophecy and The Rut, two closely related sources of head trash.

Target Acquisition works this way: What you’re looking for, you find. Sometimes it’s good. Like when you can’t find your keys, so you take a moment to picture them in your mind and suddenly they’re in that one spot you’ve looked at thirteen times already. Sometimes it’s less good. Have you ever started walking, and something caught your eye, so you started subconsciously drifting toward it? It’s because you’re looking at it, focusing on it. 

Now, have you ever thought about buying a car, and suddenly you’re seeing that car everywhere? That’s the Frequency Illusion. You’re thinking about it—even subconsciously—so you’re more likely to notice it around you. 

But here’s the problem: 

Don’t think of a bright pink unicorn. 

Did you immediately think of a pink unicorn? Of course you did, you just read the words. And hearing them would have the same effect. 

Now, can you imagine how ridiculously hard it would be to SAY those words and not think of a pink unicorn in vibrant detail? Spoiler: It’s hard. Like, really really hard. 

So what happens when you complain about something? What are you thinking about while you’re complaining about oversleeping? What are you setting yourself up to find, if you keep focusing on the crappy shit that already happened? Or whatever it is you’re talking about: how your partner is a jerk, you’ll never get ahead at your job, and honestly you’re an absolute fuckup. 

Maybe now you can see how these vicious cycles get started: First, something shitty happens. And you complain about it. That complaint triggers the Frequency Illusion, and you start noticing that thing you complained about more and more. Then Target Acquisition fires up, because you’re suddenly really freaking focused on that one thing. If you’re on the woo-train, this is where you say something like “and then you end up manifesting sorrow and reaping only the harsh hull of decaying happiness” or something. 

So... how do we stop that cycle? With a silver. Goddammed. Lining. A Heroic Reframe.